I have been thinking a great deal about this, the notion of monogamy. What a terrible word to describe such a wonderful thing! Monogamy sounds like monotony, and that is probably what most people think of. The idea of monogamy sounds great, until you think about all the other possibilities. But adultery is only appealing when there is nothing better. What could be better? Spiritual intimacy. This is something that can only be achieved by forsaking all others for one only. Not only in the body, in the mind as well.
I have always believed in the romantic notion of a soul mate, that there is one true love with whom I will be united unto eternity. Now, I think many who have a past believe that they are tainted, and unclean. I don't believe this, there is always hope! The Lord has worked more miracles in my life than I can relate. I'm a fool seeking His wisdom. When I was struggling with a depraved mind, and a terrible addiction to pornography, He freed me!
What a hidden joy it is to set one's heart against temptation, and stand against it with a firm affirmation: "my love is set apart for one only!" What a wonder it is to find that, day by day, one's thoughts are actively purified by this defiance! Now I am beginning to see the beauty of pure friendships with women, and the peace of mind that comes of a clean conscience. When my future bride and I meet, it will be as innocents. Isn't that something worth fighting for?
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Friday, October 24, 2014
Phil 3:12
I'm not perfect, but working on it. This is an interesting theme in the Christian life. We who make great progress, and have received the righteousness of Christ, are tempted to think we have attained perfection. I have been tempted by this lately, and it only takes a moment of honestly looking at my goal and role model, namely Jesus himself, to see that I have a long way to go.
Why be tempted into such foolishness in the first place? It is too obvious I am not perfect. But whenever the Lord grows that sapling of heaven within me, and a new fruit forms, I am overwhelmed by it. They aren't even ripe fruits, I'm just a frail thing that the Lord is sheltering. Yet the glory of His presence is so marvelous in comparison to my old life, that I feel invincible.
However, like it says in Philippians 3:13
Why be tempted into such foolishness in the first place? It is too obvious I am not perfect. But whenever the Lord grows that sapling of heaven within me, and a new fruit forms, I am overwhelmed by it. They aren't even ripe fruits, I'm just a frail thing that the Lord is sheltering. Yet the glory of His presence is so marvelous in comparison to my old life, that I feel invincible.
However, like it says in Philippians 3:13
"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead"
Here is a great joy, and what has been a mystery to some. That to be perfect in Christ is not a thing to be grasped but is accomplished in the act of reaching forward. And he says so much in the very next verse.
"I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus"
He describes the prize as "the upward call." And indeed it is a prize, because the joy of this calling and responding, this reaching and taking hold, is a joy of movement. Heaven is an eternal progression, it never gets old, and we continually experience the thrill of becoming ever more intimate with loves and truths, and indeed our True Love. Rejoice for the kingdom is within reach!Thursday, October 16, 2014
childhood fantasy
So I have loved fairy-tales ever since I was a child. My sister and I listened every night my mother would read sci-fi and fantasy books out loud. These fantasy roles have been present in one form or another in many aspects of my life. I would script battles of good v.s. evil between my toys.
I dreamed that I would grow up and marry a princess, slay dragons, and live happily ever after.
Time passed and I have grown up and discarded foolish ideas. I abandoned my religion, my political beliefs, and my hopes and dreams of a normal life. You see, as I was striving after Truth (and a justification for the virtues I have always held axiomatic), I lost everything. And once I discovered that I had nothing left to lose, God in tender mercy showed me something real.
It has been a year since then. And I'm training for my future career. I'm going to marry a princess, slay dragons, and live happily ever after! I'm training to be an angel, wings and all.
Does that sound silly?
Think about it, what do most of us live for? We have careers, families, vacations, and then we die. What have we learned to? We get some undefined reward in some undefined heaven, or if you don't believe in soul survival we get nothing.
What if you wake up one day in the next life and you can have your dream job, literally no holds barred. You can be a rock-star, or a super-scientist, a cowboy, or a ninja. You can be a dancing juggler who makes fireworks on the side. What if you can be a protector of the forest like Tarzan or Mowgli? How about a leader, a chef, an artisan etc?
What use is such speculation you may ask? Because you can work on that dream now, you can start becoming that person. I want to master every subject of knowledge, and I want to be a hero.
So I am working towards these goals.
In order to master all the knowledge possible, I will be in the habit of always learning, to abstain from mind numbing substances, and to think about paradoxes and difficult subjects.
To become a hero, I will live by the spirit of a code of moral conduct, I will learn to help those in need, and I will develop the courage to lay down my life for another.
This is not to toot my own horn. *chuckle* (toot) I wrote this because I want everyone to start living their dream. Make heaven grow.
I dreamed that I would grow up and marry a princess, slay dragons, and live happily ever after.
Time passed and I have grown up and discarded foolish ideas. I abandoned my religion, my political beliefs, and my hopes and dreams of a normal life. You see, as I was striving after Truth (and a justification for the virtues I have always held axiomatic), I lost everything. And once I discovered that I had nothing left to lose, God in tender mercy showed me something real.
It has been a year since then. And I'm training for my future career. I'm going to marry a princess, slay dragons, and live happily ever after! I'm training to be an angel, wings and all.
Does that sound silly?
Think about it, what do most of us live for? We have careers, families, vacations, and then we die. What have we learned to? We get some undefined reward in some undefined heaven, or if you don't believe in soul survival we get nothing.
What if you wake up one day in the next life and you can have your dream job, literally no holds barred. You can be a rock-star, or a super-scientist, a cowboy, or a ninja. You can be a dancing juggler who makes fireworks on the side. What if you can be a protector of the forest like Tarzan or Mowgli? How about a leader, a chef, an artisan etc?
What use is such speculation you may ask? Because you can work on that dream now, you can start becoming that person. I want to master every subject of knowledge, and I want to be a hero.
So I am working towards these goals.
In order to master all the knowledge possible, I will be in the habit of always learning, to abstain from mind numbing substances, and to think about paradoxes and difficult subjects.
To become a hero, I will live by the spirit of a code of moral conduct, I will learn to help those in need, and I will develop the courage to lay down my life for another.
This is not to toot my own horn. *chuckle* (toot) I wrote this because I want everyone to start living their dream. Make heaven grow.
I'd rather hit delete
More and more often, when I am attempting to respond to someone in a forum, I write a few sentences, and then delete them. I do this several times, then give up. The reason is not that I believe my opinion is invalid, rather, I find myself trying to poke holes in other people's understanding.
The way to change minds is not to try and destabilize their system of thought from the top though. That is like chopping down a dead tree by pulling on the branches.
What I really need to do is uproot that system of thought, and the way to do that is by asking questions that reveal the origins of their reasoning. Then they will see the roots were shallow, and topple it themselves.
The way to change minds is not to try and destabilize their system of thought from the top though. That is like chopping down a dead tree by pulling on the branches.
What I really need to do is uproot that system of thought, and the way to do that is by asking questions that reveal the origins of their reasoning. Then they will see the roots were shallow, and topple it themselves.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Introduction
The reason I have chosen to create an online record of my thoughts and experiences is to encourage and enlighten anyone who seeks Truth. I have spent most of my life in a struggle to overcome addiction and morbid despair. In that struggle I searched for wisdom far and wide, and everywhere I listened I heard the ecclesiastical voice say "All is vanity".
I made an inquiry into the source of all things, I sought empirical evidence for all of my beliefs. I sought to find the solid and universal justification for any system of thought that crossed my path. All of them crumbled before me. I began to inquire into the foundation of knowledge and understanding, these too dissipated before my withering scrutiny. All was subject to a reasonable doubt. I finally doubted the very existence of my creator, and fancied the notion that there could be a blind-mad god of chaos that slouched at the center of the universe just like Lovecraft imagined.
When I finally learned to believe in nothing impermanent, I discovered that there was nothing left but my consciousness, and a door I had never opened.
I made an inquiry into the source of all things, I sought empirical evidence for all of my beliefs. I sought to find the solid and universal justification for any system of thought that crossed my path. All of them crumbled before me. I began to inquire into the foundation of knowledge and understanding, these too dissipated before my withering scrutiny. All was subject to a reasonable doubt. I finally doubted the very existence of my creator, and fancied the notion that there could be a blind-mad god of chaos that slouched at the center of the universe just like Lovecraft imagined.
When I finally learned to believe in nothing impermanent, I discovered that there was nothing left but my consciousness, and a door I had never opened.
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